Author: ProducerLunchbox

I used to do radio, now I dabble in writing. Here, I write about life, wrestling and waffles. Not necessarily in that order.

The Hit Songs of November 2020

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Well this was a much calmer month, thankfully. It feels like the pop charts slowed down a bit for the holidays. Just a quick note for this list next month: the only Christmas songs that will hit this list next month will be brand new ones. So I’m not reviewing All I Want For Christmas Is You. Unless we do some list or pod about Christmas songs. Then all bets are off. Whelp, here we go, crap first then scroll down for the good stuff.

13 – Morgan Wallen – More Than My Hometown
There’s an example of country done right towards the top of the list. This is country done… well, I’d say wrong but this is just what the genre is now. The production’s the easy part. It’s a cookie cutter country track. There’s a steel guitar in there, there’s a Telecaster set to maximum twang and an even, if not boring drum track. Now let’s get to the worst part: lyrics. I can’t roll my eyes harder at the thesis of this song: oh, I love you more than all of these great big things in this great big world, but I can’t love you more than this one stoplight holler in the backwoods of bumfuck, wherever. So enjoy life, girl, where people drive electric cars and fancy apps deliver you food and you don’t have to walk to the back of the property to take a shit. Songs like this are the reason the genre has picked up the reputation it has over the last two decades.

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The Hit Songs of October 2020

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Man, the top 40 was weird this month. Songs popped up then plummeted. 21 Savage’s entire album charted one week, then all but disappeared as everyone moved on to something else. Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” recharted 40 years after being released thanks to a TikTok video. (I didn’t include it in this month’s rankings but that song’s a solid 87-90. I really like the whole Rumours in general.) Oh, and country actually had a taste of pop success this month, so all around a busy month on the charts. What that does mean is we got a lot of tracks to sift through, so hold on to your butts. (throws the main breaker). Note: There’s a ton here so a lower ranking doesn’t necessarily mean a song’s bad. In fact, if you want to get right past the bad and meh, jump down to like #20.

31. Justin Bieber and benny blanco – Lonely
Another “woah is me, fame is so hard” anthem from the Biebs. I thought “I’ll Show You” was bad enough. I usually find strength in tracks where artists express their struggles with mental health. It can help those who are struggling to find something in pop culture that they can relate to, knowing that they are not alone in the struggle. But fuck is this just whiney. It sounds more like the slurred wailing of the drunk cryer in the group. It’s hard to feel anything for you when your expressions of self-loathing come off as nothing more than a cry for attention instead of help. There is a difference. The minor keyed Fender Rhoads backing track just amplifies this feeling that the emotions are disingenuous. I’m not saying the kid doesn’t have mental health issues and I wouldn’t dream of berating him if that were the case, but there’s nothing on this track that feels like a genuine examination of his heart. And seriously, what the fuck is that warble on the hook?

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Podcast the Thirteenth: September 2020 in Review

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Another month, another batch of music to review and/or lampoon.

Zack’s Top 3 Albums of the Month

3. Tim Heidecker – Fear of Death
2. Big Sean – Detroit 2

Detroit 2 was released nearly 8 years to the day of the release of Big Sean’s fourth mixtape, Detroit.  Back then, Sean was doing it: his first studio album, Finally Famous, had dropped the year prior.  A week after Detroit would be the release of Cruel Summer, a compilation album showcasing several G.O.O.D. Music artist, including Sean on two smashers: Clique and Mercy.  He was still with his high-school sweetheart too.

Fast-forward to today: Detroit 2 is Big Sean’s sixth studio album, and he hasn’t slowed down a lick.  He’s quietly made a name for himself as one of the best rappers in the game.  And, like all the greats do, he spans a variety of topics on Detroit 2, without holding anything back.  Whether it’s the diagnosis of his heart condition on “Lucky Me”, the squashing of the apparent non-beef with Kendrick Lamar on “Deep Reverence”, or the vulnerable matters-of-the-heart jam “Guard Your Heart”, Sean puts it all out on the table.

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The Hit Songs of September 2020

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This was a better than expected month for chart debuts. Don’t get me wrong, there was still some bad, but less than normal and the bad all have the same thing in common: they’re boring as hell.

15. Internet Money ft. Don Tolliver, Gunna and Nav – Lemonade
Have you heard a hip hop song before? Are you familiar with all the clichés about all the riches that these rappers that you’ve never heard of brag about on their songs? Good, you’ve got the content of this one covered. They mention drugs a lot too, which makes sense because the track sounds like someone fed Ableton all the Quaaludes then told it to spit out an acoustic guitar backed beat. There’s seriously not much to this song and even less when you factor in how damn boring the beat is.

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The Best Hit Songs of 1991

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Hopefully, you’ve returned to day with the promise of some good music from 1991. Not one to disappoint, that’s what we’re here to do.

We’ll start out with a group of songs that just missed out on a spot in the top 10. There was quite a log jam of scores just outside the top 10, further proving what I said before that 1991 was an odd year of a lot of decent:
– Wilson Philips – You’re in Love – I put it to you that this is a better track than their more well known “Hold On”.
– Bonnie Raitt – Something To Talk About – A classic bluesy rock track, Raitt’s voice is so smooth, its the butter on top of this song.
– Sting – All This Time – A reflection on the passing of his farther, this track is quite upbeat given the subject and is driven by a solid Hammond organ piece.
– Roxette – Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave) – Great guitarwork in the background of a powerhouse piece of pop.
– Extreme – Hole Hearted – Great piece of acoustic rock, punctuated with vocal and instrumental harmonies.
And after all those we are finally into the countdown.

10. Oleta Adams – Get Here – Year-end: #80, Peak: #5

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The 10 Worst Hit Songs of 1991

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The next installment of my project to review the year-end Hot 100’s of every year of my existence takes us to a kind of K-T line for pop music. 1991 was a very interesting year in that music is on the brink of a major shift, so the rules are kind of different. Dance pop rules the airwaves, hair metal is making its last gasps at life and soft rock is king. The charts are just kind of… weird. After listening to the top 100 songs on the charts from that year I think the best way to describe 1991 is meh. There were few songs that I would term “bad”, but there’s not a ton of “great” either. The middle ground, however, is packed with singles of all stripes. With that in mind, here’s how the bottom of my rankings shaped up. If you want to see Billboard’s full list, you can click here.

Before we really dive into the list, here’s a few tracks that were just good enough to miss the bottom 10:
– The Escape Club – I’ll Be There – Some shaky vocals on an otherwise lifeless track, even for an early 90’s ballad.
– UB40 – Here I Am (Come and Take Me) – Pretty standard reggae cover that manages to drain all the soul and feeling from the original.
– Warrant – I Saw Red – Written after the lead singer caught his girlfriend in bed with Richie Sambora, it’s weak sauce given the subject. It takes two-and-a-half minutes to get to any shred of a passion in the vocals.
– Paula Abdul – The Promise of a New Day – Man, are the back-up vocals distracting and not in a good way. Add the weird synth bells and you a track musically trying way too hard.

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Podcast the Twelfth: Our Favorite Guilty Pleasure Songs

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What songs do we love, even though we probably shouldn’t? The guys hammer out their top 5 favorite guilty pleasure songs in this week’s Fairly Kickass.

Get in on the shamefest with the videos below and be sure to add some of your favorite songs that you’re not supposed to love in the comments section.

Jeremy’s Top 5 Guilty Pleasures:
5. Kiss – Beth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHkojuUSDO8
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The Podcast: The Eleventh – August 2020 In Review

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The FKA crew covers their favorite new albums of the month, discuss the best new arrivals in the top 40 and play a new game to help determine the filthiest song of all time.

Zack’s Top 3 Albums of the Month:
1. Biffy Clyro – A Celebration of Endings
2. Mach-Hommy – Mach’s Hard Lemonade
3. Alex the Astronaut – The Theory of Absolutely Nothing

Jeremy’s Top 3 Albums of the Month:
1. Blues Pills – Holy Moley
2. Biffy Clyro – A Celebration of Endings
3. King Buzzo with Trevor Dunn – Gift of Sacrifice

Dan’s Top 3 Hit Singles of the Month:
1. Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver – exile
2. Taylor Swift – cardigan
3. Miley Cyrus – Midnight Sky