It’s a new year and hopefully, we’ll get some new trends on the charts. However we start a new year pretty much the same way we ended the last one: with a lot of meh. There’s was a decent amount of good and really not too much bad. But there were a large band of tracks that debuted on the charts this month that were extremely medium. But there was a lot of them so let’s get to it, worst to first.
24. Ritt Momney – Put Your Records On
White indie rapper covers a pop song. Hmmm, haven’t heard that one. You couldn’t have heard the first verse of this one either since it sounds like someone singing in the shower. It feels more like an Ableton Live demo. Every vocal has multiple filters, the tempo gets played with. It really comes off as a dare track. Let’s see how many features we can cram into one cover song. Great exercise for producers, shit idea for a single that gets released to the public. But it’s apparently a huge hit in the Philippines, so what do I know?
23. All Time Low ft. blackbear – Monsters
Four or five years ago, this is a Fall Out Boy track. My songs know who to emulate in the dark…
EDITOR’S NOTE: We got another fire review here, from one of the gross-ass mixed drink legends in the flesh, Jeremy. He makes a hop across the pond to Bradford, in West Yorkshire, to bring you the third album from the Lost Direction, Zayn Malik. Zayn notched a #1 release in the charts of a number of countries (including his native UK) with his first post-One Direction soiree, Mind of Mine, in 2016. The shine wore off pretty quickly though, as he couldn’t even crack the top-75 in his homeland with 2018’s sophomore effort, Icarus Falls.
Zayn’s third album claims that Nobody Is Listening, which is patently false: at the very least, ONE person was listening. Keep reading to find out whether Jeremy found One Thing wrong with the release, or a bunch of Little Things. Maybe it was actually Perfect? My puns are depleted now so just go read the thing already thx.
Zayn – Nobody is Listening (RCA Records)
Starting your career as a project of Simon Cowell has the potential to go in a few different directions, ranging from Instant Success to Crash-And-Burn. For Zayn Malik, the former is absolutely true. One Direction is known the world over as a part of this generation’s “boy band” phase, alongside The Jonas Brothers.
It’s our first post of 2021, and we’re gonna switch things up a bit for y’all. First off, we’re putting the longer album reviews in their own posts, so you won’t have to dig through several other reviews to get that nougaty center. (Fun fact: my autocorrect just informed me that “nougaty” is a word. Life is good, y’all.) We’ll be posting these as we write them, so you’ll get to enjoy more content more often from ya bois.
Second, we’ll still be placing the Quickie reviews in their own post; those will likely still come out every two weeks like before. That way, you’ll get a little taste of more albums – an appetizer to tide you over between the longer main courses. I’m quite hungry, if it wasn’t obvious.
Third… well, I can’t tell you what third is. Just now that we have a couple surprises planned, and we’ll be putting more information out into the ether for those as we solidify things. New content on Fairly KickAss podcast, plus new content on the Fairly KickAss blog?!? You could be so (un)lucky.
That’s all for me: now for the good stuff that you came here to read. Enjoy our first album review of the new year!